The last days were crazy here at Giardinoblu: orders have been growing fast, we had back and forth emails for custom orders to manage, new jewels to bring to life, fresh contents to share, and shipments to prepare... so yes, last Wednesday I found myself completely burned out, overwhelmed and stressed.
Over these stressful momentums, it looks like we're at the mercy of our feelings if we don't have the tools to handle them.
So, today I want to share with you the 3 Effective and Instantly tools I use to break up the pressure and overcome anxiety when I feel overwhelmed and "not enough" to achieve my goals.
Tool Number One:Coming Back to You
BE PRESENT WITH YOURSELF
The overwhelming feeling we experience during a time of overworking for example, is the result of the separation between mind and body. This kind of separation is a strategy the body uses in every emergency situation when the priority is to stay alive and keep going. This state of pressure should be followed by a state of relaxation where you can recover the high amount of energy you've lost.
However, a high percentage of people in the modern western world struggle to land into this second phase and relax; they unconsciously tend to keep their bodies in a constant state of tension sustained by a high level of hormones like cortisol. For many, feeling stressed is such a usual feeling to become ordinary.
When it happens, I feel like you're on an unstoppable wheel, but it's false. You can stop that wheel. You just need to come back to yourself, reestablishing a connection between mind and body
I know that stepping out of the wheel of "doing+doing+doing" is tricky, but you could be surprised by the progress you can make by intentionally coming back to yourself and choosing to practice some simple strategies.
You only need a few seconds of conscious breathing.
Breathing is the ultimate tool to reconnect yourself to the present and make conscious and meaningful decisions. Just then, you can take the right actions to achieve what you want in the short and long run.
Giving your best doesn't mean burning yourself.
When we don't break the crazy running in the wheel of stress, we're the worst version of us.
I know you want to accomplish all of your scheduled points at your best. That's why we need to become more responsible about how we manage our tasks and time.
That's why we need to handle stress and pressure better and identify the limit between "good stress" and "bad stress".
The Good Stress:
Good stress, is the type of stress that keeps us feeling alive and excited about life.
There is no threat or blocks when we experience the good stress, even if and our pulse quickens.
It's the kind of stress that push us beyond our "comfort zone" in a healthy way.
The Bad Stress:
It comes when we repeatedly face stressors that take a heavy toll and feel inescapable. A stressful job or an unhappy home life can bring chronic stress.
That is what we call chronic stress. When we deal with it for an extended period, we usually face negative health effects (both, physical and emotional).
Here's the Two Steps Technique I use every time my mind send the SOS-Stress to my Brain:
No matter what I'm doing or where I am, I make one breath leading my attention to the point where the breath comes from.
I bring my attention to the point on my chest where the wave of breathing comes from.
Breath in peace.
Breath-centered without pushing.
Repeat for as many time you need.
The wave of breathing comes from the point at the center of my chest and then go through my harms, fingers, legs, and feet. Breathing.
This simple strategy allows me to come back to my whole body. It brings me back to the present/real moment allowing to establish the necessary priorities to achieve my goals.
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
Tool Number Two:You'll make Everything You Want
PRIORITIZE, DON'T VICTIMIZE
How do you feel now that you're back to yourself? Better isn't it?
However, you don't want to give up on everything you have to do, right?
In fact, you should not.
The first step to take as soon as you re-take control of yourself is going to the tasks you want to accomplish and ask for every one of them:
• Why do I want to do that?
• What if I scheduled it, instead of making it right now?
• Can I delegate or ask for help?
LEARN TO REPLACE "I HAVE TO" WITH "I WANT TO"
Instead of victimizing yourself, saying to yourself and others that you have not enough time and straight to do what you have to do, let's start to replace "I have to" with "I want to".
The worlds that we choose can completely shift the meaning of every situation and action.
TIME IS THE SAME FOR EVERYONE
Time is the same no matter you're a rock star, a president or a warrior of love as you are.
Time is not about money, intentions or meritS. Time is always the same for everyone.
It's not how much things we have to do, instead is how much we stay focused on the goals we want to accomplish.
"Prioritize peace. If it nurtures, calms, and revitalizes you, make time for it. If it stresses, distresses, or depresses you, reconsider it."
Tool Number Three: You're Human
LEARN TO LETTING GO
We need to master the practice of "letting go" in tree fields if we wanna better manage stress and anxiety and share the best of us:
LEARN TO LETTING GO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK:
Feeling wrong or not enough based on what other people say is nonsense for two basic reasons:
• The myth of the "perfect woman."
I don't know if it's just an "Italian kind of thing," but it seems that a woman has to achieve everything in life, if not she's a mediocre woman.
She has to have a great job, she has to stay pretty, in shape, she has to be a nice wife, a fantastic lover, she needs to make at least one child, she has to be a great cooker, her home is always nice and clean, she has to have a great salary and the list go on and on... And +plus she has to find the solution to almost everything, even when it's mean to prevent difficulties or not nice situations.
Pretty crazy right? However, sometimes we feel we're not enough when something of these is missed in our life.
We constantly push yourself doing more and sometimes just because we feel the "pressure" of others, not because we really want to get there.
• People judge others, no matter what they do.
We just have to decide if we wanna spend our time to judge and listening judging or live the joy to create something significant and positive for other people and ourself.
Here's one of the reasons why Mindfulness practices are so important these days.
LEARN TO LETTING GO EVERYTHING YOU CAN'T CONTROL:
Leading stress and anxiety towards things you can't control is not just a ridiculous practice, but also a huge draining of time and energy.
Things we can't control can be about the past, the present and the future.
Don't fall into the trap to stress over the past because there's nothing you can do to change them. Instead, be present and create your future today.
In the present moment you can't control what other people decide, say or do. You can just contribute to lead the situation towards the way you want.
After that, you're not the only responsible for the result.
...And, thank God, everyone is responsible for their actions, not for other people ones.
Stress doesn't come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.
"Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it."
LEARN TO LETTING GO THE IDEA OF PERFECTION:
Some people use to keep secret what they make until they think it's perfect. They call themselves perfectionist.
The result is that usually, they never share what they made. Why? because it's never perfect!
+ plus doing that,
• they can't improve their work based on real issues and feedback, not thoughts or hypothesis.
• they're often frustrated because perfection is a concept, not a real fact.
When we give higher value to a concept instead of an action, we're making philosophy, we're no living a real life.
In fact, people who always want to achieve perfection are often frustrated and usually have deep blocks to dissolve.
If you find yourself in this situation, I invite to take yourself a little bit less seriously :)
Look, I say that because I'm learning to take myself less seriously these years and I'm feeling all the benefits of that.
It doesn't mean we don't need to give the best of us, instead of training us to accept the imperfection and embrace the never ending journey of growing with joy.
Overcoming an overstressed momentum is always challenging.
However, the more we practice walking this way, the more natural and easier will be in future.